Answering an Amonoceratist

Hear ye heathens!

You, in your petty human vanity, think that Unicorn is silly and ridiculous. You refute a unicorn that has a horn and four legs. What a stupid strawman, Amonoceratists! All of you who revel in demolishing the idea of a hooved Unicorn, have you ever taken Monoceratology 101? Surely not, because if you had, you'd have noticed that the caricature that you despise and hate has nothing to do with the real Unicorn. The real Unicorn is more subtle than that. I am sure that those of you who are so literal minded will not accept or recognise the real Unicorn.

Sure, there are fundamentalists who promote the idea of an actually pink coloured Unicorn. They may not know that She is also invisible. Such foolishness! But surely, my Amonoceratist friends, you are not foolish enough to condemn the whole of Monoceratism by these misguided people? Who doesn't know that Her trampling of the heathen under her hooves is completely metaphorical? A literalist, surely. But I had imagined that the Amonoceratists are more intelligent than that. Apparently not. 

Those of us who understand Monoceratology recognise the obvious arguments against the existence of a literal pink-maned Unicorn. But let me ask you, Amonoceratist, do you wish to throw the baby out with the bath water? Shouldn't you try and understand our beliefs before you stridently dismiss them based on a strawman?