The Reductionism Delusion

I'm tired of these reductionists. My complaint is about these fundamentalist scientific reductionists who try to deny me the comfort of thinking that my computer fried because my friend played Wolfenstein on it--and used a flamethrower. He happens to be a reductionist who stubbornly resists holism; he has no intentions of thinking outside of his rigid digital electronic box and owning up to the destruction he's caused. It is one thing to talk about microchips and gates and whatnot--don't think that I don't know about Carry Lookahead Adders--and quite another to deny outright the very possibility that my friend's binge with the flamethrower had absolutely anything to do with a component (which has a max operating temp of 100oC) going up in smoke. Am I to believe that all those computing newbies who think that their computers will blow up if they press any key to continue are delusional? Such arrogance is the hallmark of reductionism. It is the sort of error that only a naive reductionist like Richard Dawkins will commit.

This attempt to reduce love, sadness and nailgun-wielding aliens to neural networks and NAND gates is not just objectionable on moral grounds, but also on rational grounds. Who in their right minds would think that a romp with a rocket launcher in Quake III will not have an adverse effect on the motherboard which is definitely not designed to survive large high-explosive projectiles? You may claim that there is no evidence for this, but reductionistic science can only get us so far. Anyone not affected by such scientism understands that digital electronics doesn't have all the answers.

Another more subtle form of this philosophical travesty is when they try to claim that faith is not a valid way of knowing about reality. Our senses are unreliable, so how can we be sure that science is the only way of reliably learning about the universe? I mean, we cannot reliably know what goes on inside those microchips no matter how carefully we inspect them--basic Quantum Mechanics. So who's to say that more insight into the operation of the Floating Point Unit is gained by looking at microchips than by exploring the Unreal Tournament 2004 world? The arrogance of scientism and atheism might, but not those of us who are more sophisticated in dealing with such matters. Those hardware engineers who rashly deny such reasonable possibilities should perhaps remain more open-minded to the possibility that the all-day wargamer might have some guiding insights into the design of CPU microcode, rather than claim that their reductionist view of digital electronics, ones and zeroes, provide all the answers that they need. Clearly, their views have only as much validity as the RPG player's given the unreliability of it all. I'm not claiming that faith is all you need to know about the world or that game playing experience is all you need to design CPUs--I'm saying that Science and faith, like Digital Electronics and Doom III expertise, are complementary. Digital Electronics is simply rudderless without hours of NFS: Most Wanted experience to guide it, whether you are designing a binary adder or a CPU bus.

[Okay, so nobody broke my computer; but I have faith that somebody will, that ought to count]

Answering an Amonoceratist

Hear ye heathens!

You, in your petty human vanity, think that Unicorn is silly and ridiculous. You refute a unicorn that has a horn and four legs. What a stupid strawman, Amonoceratists! All of you who revel in demolishing the idea of a hooved Unicorn, have you ever taken Monoceratology 101? Surely not, because if you had, you'd have noticed that the caricature that you despise and hate has nothing to do with the real Unicorn. The real Unicorn is more subtle than that. I am sure that those of you who are so literal minded will not accept or recognise the real Unicorn.

Sure, there are fundamentalists who promote the idea of an actually pink coloured Unicorn. They may not know that She is also invisible. Such foolishness! But surely, my Amonoceratist friends, you are not foolish enough to condemn the whole of Monoceratism by these misguided people? Who doesn't know that Her trampling of the heathen under her hooves is completely metaphorical? A literalist, surely. But I had imagined that the Amonoceratists are more intelligent than that. Apparently not. 

Those of us who understand Monoceratology recognise the obvious arguments against the existence of a literal pink-maned Unicorn. But let me ask you, Amonoceratist, do you wish to throw the baby out with the bath water? Shouldn't you try and understand our beliefs before you stridently dismiss them based on a strawman?

Some Ideas for Our New Memetically Engineered Religion

Purely memeplex survival-based:

• Promote evidence-free faith as a virtue.
• Threaten with penalties for unbelief.
• Offer perks for belief.

Memeplex survival and transmission through genetic survival:

• Tell believers to go forth and multiply.
• Tell believers to treat women as breeding machines and convince women to accept it.
• Oppose contraception and abortion.
  
• Indoctrinate children early on.
• Order them to behave well in society and preserve order as long as it serves the memeplex.
• It is okay to kill unbelievers, but do not provoke wars that you cannot win.

Horizontal memeplex transmission:

• Enjoin them to preach the true faith.
• Attribute good deeds to the memeplex.

Maintaining memeplex transmission fidelity:

• Maintain a priestly class who will preserve the integrity of the memeplex out of self-interest.
• Create an inquisition.

Risky/dangerous memeplex traits:

• Attempt to explain the world by integrating known science (risky--since it may threaten to tear the memeplex apart when new empirical evidence comes along).
• Integrate cultural practices for better acceptance and familiarity from the believers, and to provide a distinct identity at the risk of endangering horizontal transmission.

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(edited: 22/05/2010)

Papa Benny's Medieval Meditations (Advice Column)

[Updated as and when Benny chooses to open his sacred mouth]

Never use condoms, dear Africans. They spread aids!
(Science be damned, you've got to stick to church doctrine when advising people. link)

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The Kottayam Declaration on Human Rights in Invisible Pink Unicornism

March 29, 2009
[English Translation]

This document shall, by the grace of the Invisible Pink Unicorn (IPU, pbuh), serve as a guide for countries that want to implement the One True Divine Law (OTDL) of the IPU (pbuh). The OTDL is subject solely to the interpretation of the One True Prophet, whom now you have the honour of reading.

ARTICLE 1:
(a) All human beings are the same, ie, worthless trash in the eyes of the most holy Invisible Pink Unicorn. Only under Unicornism shall humans achieve true civilization.
(b) All women are equal human beings and there shall be no discrimination between women on the basis of gender. (Subject to the terms of the OTDL.)
(c) A man counts as 1/2 of a human being.
(d) Refer to the OTDL for the rights of infidels.

ARTICLE 2:
Everybody has the right not to be killed or harmed unless the OTDL or the IPU hint otherwise.

ARTICLE 3:
Every poor defenseless human dead body has a right to be free from assault by Anatomy students and such scum.

ARTICLE 4:
Children have rights--you guessed it, entirely subject to interpretations of the OTDL.

ARTICLE 5:
All women have the right to study Science so as to learn more about the divine attributes of the IPU (pbuh). Men are possibly not important to her.

ARTICLE 6
(a) Unicornism is the bestest religion ever. Unicorn rocks. Epic win.
(b) It is an abomination to trick, convince or force a person to leave the One True Religion of the Invisible Pink Unicorn. Offenders have the right to choose between being shot and hung.

ARTICLE 7:
Nobody has the right to oppress and subjugate people except the Invisible Pink Unicorn and Her agents.

ARTICLE 8:
(a) Everyone shall have the right to express his opinion freely in such manner as would not be contrary to the principles of the OTDL.
(b) Everyone shall have the right to advocate what is right, and propagate what is good, and warn against what is wrong and evil according to the norms of the Unicornic OTDL.
(c) Information may not be exploited or misused in such a way as may violate sanctities and the dignity of the IPU's prophets such as this author, undermine moral and ethical values or disintegrate, corrupt or harm society or weaken its faith in the Most Holy Invisible Pink Unicorn.

ARTICLE 9:
All the rights and freedoms stipulated in this Declaration are subject to the OTDL and the author's discretion.

May the Invisible Pink Unicorn bless us all, and save us all from being trampled under Her holy hooves.

Link to an even more progressive list of rights:

http://www1.umn.edu/humanrts/instree/cairodeclaration.html

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